


No thoughts, only chaos

by feelthenoiz



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Azul knows, Erotic, First Experience, Idia is a real newbie in this kind of things, M/M, Rated M for the first scene only, Slow Romance, little mermaid reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelthenoiz/pseuds/feelthenoiz
Summary: “Idia-san, can I ask you a question?”“Yes...?”“Do you like me?”“I feel comfortable talking to you... so yeah, I like you.”“Idia-san... Do you love me?”“That... I don’t know.”In which Idia finds himself avoiding Azul as much as he can due to a certain incident, but he doesn't know how to pretend everything is okay.
Relationships: Idia Shroud/Azul Ashengrotto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	No thoughts, only chaos

**Author's Note:**

> My most sincere thanks to my amazing beta (Ray) and also to my friends in the discord server, for encouraging me to write this.
> 
> I'm sorry in advance for any grammar mistake or ooc that may appear, and I hope you enjoy your reading!

They were the only ones left in the History room. Azul’s notebook and pen had fallen from the desk as soon as he sat on it, and Idia was imprisoned between his legs. His hands caressed Ashengrotto's naked waist, going to his back for a moment before returning to the starting point. His cold, long fingers felt strange touching the warmer skin of the other, but that was not going to stop him. Neither was it going to stop Azul, who was possessively crossing both his arms on Idia’s shoulders, kissing him softly and deepening it one step at a time. It seemed to him that Octavinelle’s leader enjoyed biting his lower lip while they were touching each other, which was a surprise to him. However, he didn’t seem really bothered by it at all: his body was positively reacting to the rising heat of the situation.

The hoodie had been open for a while now thanks to Azul, and his pants started to feel uncomfortable as soon as the silver haired started caressing the back of his neck and his ears in the middle of the kiss; goosebumps ran up his back, which unconsciously made him get his body closer to the younger leader’s waist, who put a bit of pressure on his legs to help. He could hear Ashengrotto’s words clearly, even though he whispered. “Go on”. The older leader allowed himself to unbutton and unzip the pants of the other while opening his eyes a bit, just to see his expression behind his glasses, which became the most erotic image he had ever seen on him. His kisses, the satisfaction of owning Azul’s slender body and knowing that he was the one and only to appreciate his pale, porcelain skin... All of it was completely new, yet enjoyable for him. _I could get used to this,_ was what he thought.

Outside the History classroom there didn’t seem to be any student or teacher around anymore. Classes had finished already, and almost everyone had headed to their clubs or their dorms by that time. Azul’s idea of coming to the classroom so they could be alone was a success. Unconsciously smiling a bit, Idia started kissing the other’s chin and moving forward to his neck, where some teeth marks started to appear one by one. The glasses guy let out a deep sigh and a moan so low in volume that no one other than him could have heard him, reacting by moving his hips a little bit so he could provoke Idia’s half-hard dick just as he was being provoked. _So he really is into biting_ , he thought, while his right hand went through his shirt up to his chest and his left hand went to the opposite direction, trying to get under his underpants to play a little bit. 

The sudden sound of someone trying to open the door startled him.

“Why is this door closed...?” Idia froze as soon as he recognized Trein’s voice on the other side of the door, followed by a miaow. His head unconsciously turned around to see if the teacher kept trying to come inside. _No way. Really? Right now?!_ He was getting so into it... he really didn’t want to stop.

Azul groaned a little when the Ignihyde leader stopped his hand halfway through his underwear and his ass cheeks. “Idia-san…” the silver haired called him, touching his chest with one hand and the other bringing Idia’s eyes back to him. “He won’t enter without the key.”

“Azul-shi... We should...”

“Don’t leave me like this... we’ve just got started.” he smiled a bit before joining their lips together again. Idia closed his eyes and let himself go with the flow. After all, he might have been right. Trein wouldn’t come. Azul’s hand went down the other’s chest, drawing circles around his stomach to stimulate what he wanted.

The sound of rattling keys startled Idia once again. He opened his eyes as soon as he heard the sound, but he was not in the History classroom when he did.

His sheets were covering half his body and his arms were wide open over his bed. Idia stared into the ceiling, actually not understanding where he was, or what had just happened.

“... A dream...?” he mumbled, not really moving from the position he had just woke up in. He closed his eyes again and breathed trying to understand.

After a few seconds, he sat up on his bed. His face was covered in blush and some sweat started running of his skin when he stood up to look for his tablet. The whole situation in the dream was confusing, and his groin was feeling a bit... strange. Why was Azul there with him? The sensations caused by the lips of the other, the look on the other’s face covered in blush and the sound of his voice did not fade and felt so fresh both in his five senses that he could not shake off neither this unknown feeling from his chest nor Azul from his mind. 

Idia took his tablet and began his investigation. He opened a link. Then another link. Then two new links, and another one. And the most obvious description had him staring into the screen, not believing what he read as the title of the webpage.

“Erotic dream?!” Idia muttered, hoping Ortho was not near enough to hear him. 

▬▬▬▬▬▬■□■▬▬▬▬▬▬

After taking a cold shower first thing after he woke up, he gave his options a thought. He could send his tablet to class and not attend himself, as he would have to see the other dorm leader maybe once during classes, and then meet him for the Board Games Club. Or he could man up and go anyways. He had just learned that kind of dreams were normal among people his age. Of course, they weren’t normal for him, but what made him feel even stranger was the fact that the person who was with him in the dream was Octavinelle’s leader. Why him, of all people…?

Maybe it had been a consequence of the last shoujo visual novel he had played (which was pretty bad) and Azul’s visit right afterwards to return a 24 sided dice he wanted to use for research on probabilities. “But that doesn’t make sense at all...” Idia murmured, walking straight into his Alchemy class. The last thing he needed was to keep thinking about it, but it was inevitable.

He did avoid coming across his club partner during the whole day, and even though he thought meeting him was not going to be so chaotic after being apart for a whole day, he stood right before the door of the club for a moment, thinking about going in anyways but giving up after a few seconds, turning back to the Hall of Mirrors. He had never skipped a single session of it, but he did not really feel mentally prepared to see him considering he still could not get his expression out of his head. The mere idea of talking to him was…

“Idia-san?” ...a chaos. The sound of his voice made Idia raise his sight to meet Ashengrotto’s questioning look. Making eye contact for a single second was enough to make him nervous as he had been scolded.

Idia looked down. “H-Hey, Azul-shi...”

“The club room is over there. Where are you going?” the silver haired looked at him, still with a questioning look on his face. 

“I-I’m not feeling well. I’ll head to my dorm today.” He knew he was stuttering. It had been a long time since he had stopped doing it when talking to him.

“Oh. Isn’t this the first time you skip a session?” Idia nodded. “We were playing Mancala today.”

“Y-Yeah, I remember. But I…” Idia did not raise his sight at any moment. He looked at the walls, or the floor. Anywhere but his face.

Azul crossed his arms while waiting for his response. “Hmm?”

“I-I must leave. See you, Azul-shi.”

The curiously not-so-warm heat of Idia’s fire passed by Azul’s side, who turned around to see him off to the Hall of Mirrors. It was pretty obvious something was wrong with him. As far as he could remember, almost a year had passed since the Shroud’s heir had stopped stuttering when talking to him. _Did something happen? I haven’t seen him since yesterday._ Azul couldn’t really get what was going on. But it was not time for that now. He headed to the Board Games Club to, ultimately, finish organizing the games they had already tried during their last sessions.

Idia, on his side, feels like he has too much color on his cheeks. He really thought it was going to be okay. What the hell, was he the main character of a shoujo manga or what? He shook his head and headed towards his dorm without saying a single word to anyone, as usual.

And it wouldn’t have been suspicious if it had been a single time thing… but it wasn’t. It kept happening. The few times Azul saw Idia during that whole week were during club sessions, but he went right to his dorm earlier than usual too, every single day. Also, he could have sworn seeing him from afar but losing sight of him as soon as their gazes met, not only once but many times. Definitely something had happened, but it didn’t seem as if the other was going to tell him about it anytime soon.

“Jade.”

“Yes, Azul?”.

▬▬▬▬▬▬■□■▬▬▬▬▬▬

A new week had started, at last. It was still early for class, but he was already walking through the gardens to get to the academy. Idia was sleepy as he hadn’t been in a long time: games really made him lose track of time, and as he really wanted to forget about everything for a day or two, he completed all routes and endings of a new horror visual novel. He did not approach Azul during the weekend to play as they had planned a fortnight ago, but he really felt as if it had been the best option. He really wanted to be able to spend the whole session at the club that day. _Maybe avoiding him during the day would be the best option…?_ Deep inside, he knew it wasn’t. Ortho asked for Azul after seeing him return early to the dorm during club days and not inviting him over when planned. He hadn’t noticed how normal was for him and Ortho to have him around. When did they get so close?

“Ah... Why did it happen? I would have preferred to have another nightmare rather than...”

“Rather than what?”

Idia turned around instinctively when he heard Azul’s voice. _Shit, I was thinking out loud_. “Nothing, don’t mind it, Azul-shi.” His eyes looked away as soon as he replied.

“Let’s say I believe in your words for now.” Azul approached him, and as the other still seemed like he didn’t want to look at him, he raised his voice. “Idia-san, you’ve been avoiding me since last week.”

The fact that the other was not asking if he did, but being sure of what he said made him suddenly nervous. “T-That’s not...” 

“Is there something I did that made you uncomfortable?”

“N-No...” 

“Something I said?”

“No, you didn’t...”

“Then what’s wrong? We haven’t been able to finish a single game in a week.”

Idia did not know what to do. He couldn’t help but feeling a bit guilty about everything: the dream and avoiding facing him and his own feelings. Not only did he had an erection caused by his own subconscious, but also he was becoming the embodiment of disaster whenever he looked at Azul.

He was not sure about what to think about all that. His wish was to let that confusion disappear little by little, helping himself with the flow of days and thinking about other things, but nothing ensured the efficiency of that method. It was the first time he had experienced something like an erotic dream, why did it had to be with Azul, who was so close to him? How was he supposed to tell him that the whole dream was completely different from their normal interactions, and that he had woken up with an erection? _It’s impossible._

“I-I can’t tell you.”

“Should I ask for some help to Jade then?” Azul fixed his glasses while speaking.

“Eh?” Real confusion was showing on his face.

“If you’re not telling me, I’ll have to ask for help,” said the glasses guy with a smirk. “I’ve already asked him in case you don’t collaborate”.

“But why Jad...” He murmured, going through his memories about what he knew about the Leech twin. And suddenly, the information came to mind “Wait, don’t.”

“Oh, so you got it.”

He stared into Azul’s eyes, a little bit worried about the possible outcome. “Azul-shi...”

“How bad can it be?” The dorm leader shrugged, moving his right hand to rest on his own hip. “It’s not like I’m going to judge you.”

Idia seriously thought about taking his tablet out. He didn’t want to stutter. But on the other hand… it had been a really long time since he had to use it to talk to him. It felt like going back to zero, when Azul had just joined the Board Games Club and a whole month passed with him barely speaking during their meetings. Being the only ones in that room for so long had certainly made him trust Azul and get used to him and his manners. They were friends… right? And friends tell those kind of things to each other. Maybe he was drowning in a glass of water. Plus, there was no need for him to tell him all the details. Idia looked down, breathing calmly before he could articulate a word.

“I had... a dream about you the other day…” His left hand moved to the zipper of his hoodie, near his neck. “W-We were kissing… in the History classroom…”

“Oh...” He heard Azul’s voice, but did not want to look at his face again. He had finally managed to forget a bit about the dream, but now the other’s expression was back into his mind. “That’s it?”

That answer took him by surprise. His reaction was unexpected. “Eh?” He raised his sight and stared into Azul’s calm expression.

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with it.” He crossed his arms before his chest, his shoulders relaxed like when he knew he was about to win chess with a clean checkmate. “Did you think I was going to get mad?”

“No…” He shook his head and lowered his sight again. A slight tone of red took over his cheeks, “but looking at your face... makes me think about your looks in the dream... and it makes me nervous...”

Azul drew a little smile on his face, unconsciously. _Doesn’t sound to me like it was a mere kiss then, Idia-san_. He didn’t want to force him about details, but how far did they get in his dream? The silver haired guy couldn’t help but feel curiosity. It was part of his nature of course, but it had been long since he saw such interesting reactions from the Ignihyde dorm leader. He really enjoyed watching him, any time. Maybe one of his favorites was the other’s smile when scheming his plans while they played some board game. Now Idia’s blushing face could be added to the collection.

“Idia-san, can I ask you a question?”

“Yes...?”

“Do you like me?”

“I feel comfortable talking to you... so yeah, I like you.”

“Idia-san…” Azul looked at him right into the eye while Idia still had some blush on his cheeks. “Do you _love_ me?”

The blue fire on the older one’s head turned red for a second, and then came back to normal. “That... I don’t know.”

Idia stood there without saying anything else for a moment. It was the first time a question like that was being addressed at _him_ . It was certainly different to answer in a game with options than giving a real time reply. _Weird_. How to put his thoughts on the topic without being misunderstood?

“I have seen love being expressed many times in fiction: games, visual novels, books... but it’s not like the people I know from the Isle of Lamentation are really romantic or caring enough for me to perceive their affection as the traditional concept of affection.” Idia sat on the bench while covering his face from the sunlight with the hoodie. Azul sat by his side. “I’m not familiar with the feeling of love.” As sad as it might sound, he was being completely honest. He knew how it was supposed to feel, how everything should look to the others... but he had never seen it or perceived it himself. “I have never seen my parents or my family say to each other that they love them, or that they are in love. They have people they appreciate, but nothing more than that. It would be weird if they were... you know. Cheesy or traditionally romantic. It would make me uncomfortable.”

“I think I can understand what you mean,” Azul replied, looking at the grass under his feet. “I’m not used to it either. I don’t doubt my parents appreciate each other, but I doubt they are in love as they say to the media. As far as I can remember, I have seen more people in love among my clients in middle school in comparison. Many of them wanted to get a girlfriend, or to make a certain someone fall in love with them with some kind of love elixir. They all looked happy after making the deal with me, and something I learned is that everyone perceives love differently.” Azul crossed his legs, resting his whole back on the bench. “Long time ago, the benevolent, generous Sea Witch made a deal with one of the daughters of the Sea King, who had fallen in love with a human. She was willing to give up her voice in exchange for a pair of legs so she could be with the man she loved. I’ve heard people talking about this legend many times when they approached me for what ended up being selfish whims.” Idia was listening while he played with his own fingers, still refusing to look at him. Having a conversation not related to games or school was something entirely new between them. “Of course not all of them were utter failures, but those who did blamed _me_ for not being successful in my spells even when it was their fault. Not everyone’s concept of love is the same, and not all of them are compatible either. How much each person is willing to risk for the sake of love is something interesting to think about too, from time to time. Their most precious objects? Abilities? Their freedom?” Azul fixed his glasses again, resting both his hands on his own legs before talking again. “If I’m honest with you, I don’t think love needs heart balloons, fancy flowers and all those... flamboyant demonstrations of affection.” A subtle disgust crossed his face while he emphasized the last phrase.

Idia’s eyes searched the face of the silver haired leader, who was looking at his face already when their gazes met. “What do you mean?” Azul looked away, staring into a far point on the other side of the gardens.

“I mean that it is simpler than everyone says.” He softened his voice, crossing both arms in front of his chest and relaxing his shoulders. “For me, love is spending time with someone aside from Jade and Floyd and being able to forget about Mostro Lounge and school for a moment. Choosing to own my freedom without risking anything in return, and being okay with how things are no matter the circumstances while feeling something warm in my chest... And I already know that feeling.”

“Azul-shi, you don’t have to...” Idia was not sure about what to say. Was Azul just being nice to him? He was not used to having this kind of conversations with people. “There’s no need for you to say all this, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you talk like this...”

“I’m saying it because I feel like it. I’m being honest with you.”

The bell rang, indicating that classes were about to begin around the academy. Idia hadn’t been paying attention to their surroundings, but there were many students walking here and there. Laughs, chit-chats, complaints, yawns.

“Come on, we’re going to be late for class.”

“Ah, yeah... See you at the club today, Azul-shi...”

Idia stood up and took his leave towards the west stairway, waving his hand at Azul without saying anything else. All that conversation was certainly strange to him. He had never really given love a second thought aside from what he had seen and read in fiction, but listening to the other’s views on it was quite interesting. Hopefully, it might be of help to him in the (near) future. Azul watched him drag his feet for a few meters before turning away so he could head to the east stairway, but stopped halfway through his walk to turn back to him.

“Idia-san,” Azul called him, making the fire haired guy to turn around. “Don’t worry too much about your dream. That same thing happened to me too.”

“That same thing…?” _But I didn’t give him details… Unless…?_

Azul was too far from Idia for him to watch his face properly, but the older dorm leader stood frozen in his place, now being his turn to watch him leave. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he could’ve sworn he saw a smirk. And not only that. _Is that a blush...?_


End file.
